My mother and I were best friends. We weren't always that way. I was a typical teenager, the world was always ending and I hated most everything especially my mom. I look back at my teenager years, and never want a daughter because I see what I put my mom through in those years. Now, I imagine if my mom was here she would say that if she had a choice she would do it all over again.
I don't know when we became friends. At 18, I went to college. I remember that a few weeks after I moved out she redecorated my room at home. I was so mad. I also remember my first night at college. I was on a chair hanging something up something and fell and sprained my ankle. I called home in tears. I was hurt, I was homesick. Little did I know until later that after that phone call, my mom cried to my dad that she wanted to go pick me up and bring me home because she hated seeing me so sad. My father passed away when I was a junior in high school. I remember going home for the funeral and sleeping on my father's side of the bed so that my mom wouldn't be alone. I needed to be there, she needed me to be there. I will not lie. I won't say that my mom and I became bestfriends after that. My father passed away in November of '99, my junior year. I decided to move back home that summer to spend it with my mom. She was not thrilled about that idea. I was not known as the black sheep of the family, but maybe the trouble maker? The loud mouth? The never relax, drama queen? My mom wasn't sure that she could handle the world wind that I was. I was hurt but I went home anyways. I slept on my father's side of the bed most of that summer. She needed me, I needed her.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
9/11
I was driving home from my current boyfriend's house and when I heard something about IT on the radio, I don't even think I really heard it. There were other things on my mind. I got back to apartment, was getting ready for a shower with the TV on in my room. Planes had crashed into the World Trade Centers. My roommates and I were glued to the tvs for the rest of the day. Two of my 3 roommates were from New Jersey with friends and family in New York City. Everyone seemed to have a personal connection to the attack. My parent's generation were always able to remember where they were when JFK was shot. We will all remember where we were on September 11, 2001.
I was going to say that even though I started this post saying where I was, that it was important to remember that that day wasn't about me or where I was but it was about bigger things. And you know what? It was about bigger things but it was also about me, and about you, and about each individual in this country we live in. America is a country that is about individuals, about each of our own rights, values, and freedoms. That is what the terrorists were attacking; each and everyone of one us.
Today though, I want to remember every one of those people who died that day. The people in the buildings, the firefighters who were the first on the scene, each and everyone of those people that were on those four fated planes. I want to take a moment and say a prayer for them. I also want a take a moment and thank every single soldier that is out there, whether in Irag, Afghanistan or somewhere else. Thank you. Thank you for putting your life on the line, so that I am allowed to be me without others imposing their wills on me. Thank you for insuring that I have freedoms, that I have rights. Thank you for the fact that I don't have to wear a veil on my head, or that I can leave the house without a male escort. Thank you that I am not forced to sew up my privates until a man of my parents choosing rips me open. Thank you for making sure in this country that female circumcision is not widely practiced. Thank you to all of the soldiers alive and those who have given lives for everything you do for us and for our country.
I was going to say that even though I started this post saying where I was, that it was important to remember that that day wasn't about me or where I was but it was about bigger things. And you know what? It was about bigger things but it was also about me, and about you, and about each individual in this country we live in. America is a country that is about individuals, about each of our own rights, values, and freedoms. That is what the terrorists were attacking; each and everyone of one us.
Today though, I want to remember every one of those people who died that day. The people in the buildings, the firefighters who were the first on the scene, each and everyone of those people that were on those four fated planes. I want to take a moment and say a prayer for them. I also want a take a moment and thank every single soldier that is out there, whether in Irag, Afghanistan or somewhere else. Thank you. Thank you for putting your life on the line, so that I am allowed to be me without others imposing their wills on me. Thank you for insuring that I have freedoms, that I have rights. Thank you for the fact that I don't have to wear a veil on my head, or that I can leave the house without a male escort. Thank you that I am not forced to sew up my privates until a man of my parents choosing rips me open. Thank you for making sure in this country that female circumcision is not widely practiced. Thank you to all of the soldiers alive and those who have given lives for everything you do for us and for our country.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Woman v. Woman, Part II
I had hinted in my last post that I was against Woman's lib and I need to clarify. I am certainly not against the movement to liberate women. I think women and men should have equal rights. We certainly should have the right to vote, to be heard, to have equal opportunities. But I think there is something that women did not take into account or fight for, and that is the right to be different than men. Women fought to hard to be like men instead of fighting for the have equal status as men. I think what women gained wasn't taken from the men, but rather from the sense of family.
Let me explain. Before women's lib, a woman's place was considered to be in the home, raising the children, taking care of the home. And I purposely used home instead of house. I am not talking about cleaning the house. I am talking about taking care of the home in the sense of family. Now here is where I think women's lib could have gone differently. Being a stay-at-home mom is a full-time job. Talking care of one's children is cultivating the future. Being the "keeper" of a family's goals, morals, values is essential to the well-being of everyone. It is a full-time job. It is often a lot harder (and rewarding) then going in and punching your time card.
I think that the women's liberation movement should have fought not only to be able to go out and get a job like a man, but for some credit and much more importantly, the RESPECT for the job that they already do.
I see a different picture these days. Children go to day care, women work their tails off in the workplace often still earning less than men, then women come home and still have to take care of the home (in the sense of family). And I am not saying that men don't help, but I want all of you women who read this to really think hard about who does what on a consistent basis? Who does the cooking? Who does the cleaning? Who does the laundry? Who does the grocery shopping? Who buys and wraps the Christmas presents? Who kisses the wounds more often? Who does your child want when they are sick?
And what else do I see as a byproduct? Since women have pushed their way into the working world, it has created an economic situation where both parents MUST work to make ends meet. There no longer is the option of one parent staying home, it just isn't economically feasible in most people's situations. So 9-5, mommy and daddy both work. And who is suffering? I think the children, I think the family, I think marriages, I think the whole community. Latchkey kids are the rule not the exception. More kids are into drugs at an earlier age. Teen pregnancy rates are up. You hear stories about teenagers torching animals, killing other teenagers.
Let me explain. Before women's lib, a woman's place was considered to be in the home, raising the children, taking care of the home. And I purposely used home instead of house. I am not talking about cleaning the house. I am talking about taking care of the home in the sense of family. Now here is where I think women's lib could have gone differently. Being a stay-at-home mom is a full-time job. Talking care of one's children is cultivating the future. Being the "keeper" of a family's goals, morals, values is essential to the well-being of everyone. It is a full-time job. It is often a lot harder (and rewarding) then going in and punching your time card.
I think that the women's liberation movement should have fought not only to be able to go out and get a job like a man, but for some credit and much more importantly, the RESPECT for the job that they already do.
I see a different picture these days. Children go to day care, women work their tails off in the workplace often still earning less than men, then women come home and still have to take care of the home (in the sense of family). And I am not saying that men don't help, but I want all of you women who read this to really think hard about who does what on a consistent basis? Who does the cooking? Who does the cleaning? Who does the laundry? Who does the grocery shopping? Who buys and wraps the Christmas presents? Who kisses the wounds more often? Who does your child want when they are sick?
And what else do I see as a byproduct? Since women have pushed their way into the working world, it has created an economic situation where both parents MUST work to make ends meet. There no longer is the option of one parent staying home, it just isn't economically feasible in most people's situations. So 9-5, mommy and daddy both work. And who is suffering? I think the children, I think the family, I think marriages, I think the whole community. Latchkey kids are the rule not the exception. More kids are into drugs at an earlier age. Teen pregnancy rates are up. You hear stories about teenagers torching animals, killing other teenagers.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Donnie Wahlberg
I am going to take a little detour here, and continue with my "Woman v. Woman" series after this post. And my goal for The Schlog is not meant to be a day to day chronicling of my life, but this one post is going to be more of a "diary" type entry for all of you that want to hear the details of my experience meeting Donnie Wahlberg last night.
First a little background for those who haven't heard it all yet. I was an uber New Kids On The Block fan in my tween years. I went to 5 concerts, thought I was "in love" with Donnie, Jordan, & Joey (sorry Jon & Danny). When they reunited last year I was ecstatic. I saw them in November and had a great time. I don't care what anyone says about them, they do put on a good show! So fast forward to last week. My favorite radio station, 92 ProFM, announced a contest to have a meet & greet with Donnie Wahlberg. Long story short, I won the contest. My dream was going to come true!
So my expectations were high. And here is where the disconnect occurred and the reason for some of my disappointment. Meeting Donnie Wahlberg was the dream of a 12 year old girl, yet I put the expectations of 30 year woman onto the event. Let me share a little story, one of my best friends has an eleven year old daughter, "A". "A" recently went to a Jonas Brothers concert. She was in the 8th row. I called her the next day to see how the night had been. "M", she said, "It was the best night of my life, EVER". When she told me that I remembered feeling like that when I saw NKOTB. It brought a grin to my face. Just to be in their presence at a concert was an amazing experience...to a 12 year old.
In preparation for last night, my friend "D" and I went out to buy a new outfits. I bought a really hot little black dress, emphasis on little. This was no dress for a 12 year old! Before leaving for Mohegan Sun, I straightened my hair to perfection, applied a lot more make-up than is typical for me, put on the chunky gold bracelet, and of course the strappy gold sandals that added about 3 inches to my height. Now, I am typically more of a jeans and t-shirt girl, but it felt good to be dolled up for a once in a lifetime experience. And of course this was going to get me noticed by Donnie. Right?
So we were told to arrive for the meet & greet at 6:45 for a 7 pm start. We, of course, were there on time. Donnie showed up at a little past 8. So Donnie shows up, with his whole entourage (about 20 people) and begins to quickly go from group to group making a very little bit of small talk and taking a pic with them by his staff photographer. When he came to us, we did have a few mini conversations, etc. Then about half way through the "meeting and greeting", he tried to leave. Seriously. Half of the girls/women hadn't even gotten a chance to meet him. I think then he realized how bad of a mistake that would be, especially for a man who claims to care so much about his fans. Well, he did make it around to everyone. Then he cut his bday cake and made a few comments, and then headed out.
Next was the 40th bday bash upstairs at Club Ultra 88 that he was "throwing". I use the term "throwing" loosely because of course you had to buy a ticket to this. The ticket was only $40.00. This was fun, very crowded, very packed, not necessarily well organized but he did perform almost the whole time after showing up 2 1/2 hours after the start. It was like being part of a intimate semi-private concert. After the show, he promised all fans that he would wait around so everyone could have their picture taken with him. We were all herded out of the club like cattle and then proceeded to wait in a line. When we got to Donnie, we were allowed a quick pic, no conversation and then literally pushed away.
If I was 12, this would have been the "best night of my life, EVER", but I am not 12. I had put my 30 year old expectations onto this event more for a 12 year old. I was disappointed that he was SO late to the functions. The adult in me found this to be very disrespectful. I was disappointed that he didn't "notice" me, didn't appreciate me for the 30 year old woman I have grown into. This 30 year old wasn't happy just getting to have a quick hug, I wanted conversation, dialogue, etc. But I am definitely not putting this all or even most of it onto Donnie. I accept that I had unrealistic expectations, expectations that were in fact foolish. My friend, D, who came with me was not disappointed. She is not a NKOTB fan, and had very little to no expectations for the night, therefore was not disappointed. Other than my foolish expectations, I did have a great time. Being a couple of feet away from Donnie while he performed some of my favorite songs was an unbelievable experience.
First a little background for those who haven't heard it all yet. I was an uber New Kids On The Block fan in my tween years. I went to 5 concerts, thought I was "in love" with Donnie, Jordan, & Joey (sorry Jon & Danny). When they reunited last year I was ecstatic. I saw them in November and had a great time. I don't care what anyone says about them, they do put on a good show! So fast forward to last week. My favorite radio station, 92 ProFM, announced a contest to have a meet & greet with Donnie Wahlberg. Long story short, I won the contest. My dream was going to come true!
So my expectations were high. And here is where the disconnect occurred and the reason for some of my disappointment. Meeting Donnie Wahlberg was the dream of a 12 year old girl, yet I put the expectations of 30 year woman onto the event. Let me share a little story, one of my best friends has an eleven year old daughter, "A". "A" recently went to a Jonas Brothers concert. She was in the 8th row. I called her the next day to see how the night had been. "M", she said, "It was the best night of my life, EVER". When she told me that I remembered feeling like that when I saw NKOTB. It brought a grin to my face. Just to be in their presence at a concert was an amazing experience...to a 12 year old.
In preparation for last night, my friend "D" and I went out to buy a new outfits. I bought a really hot little black dress, emphasis on little. This was no dress for a 12 year old! Before leaving for Mohegan Sun, I straightened my hair to perfection, applied a lot more make-up than is typical for me, put on the chunky gold bracelet, and of course the strappy gold sandals that added about 3 inches to my height. Now, I am typically more of a jeans and t-shirt girl, but it felt good to be dolled up for a once in a lifetime experience. And of course this was going to get me noticed by Donnie. Right?
So we were told to arrive for the meet & greet at 6:45 for a 7 pm start. We, of course, were there on time. Donnie showed up at a little past 8. So Donnie shows up, with his whole entourage (about 20 people) and begins to quickly go from group to group making a very little bit of small talk and taking a pic with them by his staff photographer. When he came to us, we did have a few mini conversations, etc. Then about half way through the "meeting and greeting", he tried to leave. Seriously. Half of the girls/women hadn't even gotten a chance to meet him. I think then he realized how bad of a mistake that would be, especially for a man who claims to care so much about his fans. Well, he did make it around to everyone. Then he cut his bday cake and made a few comments, and then headed out.
Next was the 40th bday bash upstairs at Club Ultra 88 that he was "throwing". I use the term "throwing" loosely because of course you had to buy a ticket to this. The ticket was only $40.00. This was fun, very crowded, very packed, not necessarily well organized but he did perform almost the whole time after showing up 2 1/2 hours after the start. It was like being part of a intimate semi-private concert. After the show, he promised all fans that he would wait around so everyone could have their picture taken with him. We were all herded out of the club like cattle and then proceeded to wait in a line. When we got to Donnie, we were allowed a quick pic, no conversation and then literally pushed away.
If I was 12, this would have been the "best night of my life, EVER", but I am not 12. I had put my 30 year old expectations onto this event more for a 12 year old. I was disappointed that he was SO late to the functions. The adult in me found this to be very disrespectful. I was disappointed that he didn't "notice" me, didn't appreciate me for the 30 year old woman I have grown into. This 30 year old wasn't happy just getting to have a quick hug, I wanted conversation, dialogue, etc. But I am definitely not putting this all or even most of it onto Donnie. I accept that I had unrealistic expectations, expectations that were in fact foolish. My friend, D, who came with me was not disappointed. She is not a NKOTB fan, and had very little to no expectations for the night, therefore was not disappointed. Other than my foolish expectations, I did have a great time. Being a couple of feet away from Donnie while he performed some of my favorite songs was an unbelievable experience.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Woman v. Woman
About two weeks ago at this time I had landed in California. For any of you that do not know, I was there on business to attend a training for my fairly new job, as well as squeeze in a weekend mini vacation with one of my oldest and dearest friends.
I arrived at the hotel to find a welcome envelope waiting for me. In this envelope was a list of the other people who would be attending. All of these folks came from all around the country as well as one from Canada. As soon as I saw the list I started analyzing and calculating. I immediately calculated the female to male ratio. I looked at the names of the females and tried to assess their personalities. Who would be the prettiest? Who the smartest? Wait, I am lying to you...the questions were more of who will be prettier than me, smarter, etc. I started sizing up the competition before I even met them. As I write this I see the foolishness. I am asking myself the question that you are probably asking yourself, what was the competition? I cannot articulate the answer.
Woman tend to see each other as competition even when there is no prize. Where did we learn this? I was never in beauty pageants, I was never prom queen, etc. Yet my hackles get raised whenever I know there are going to be other unknown women involved in whatever I do. I value my girlfriends above much else. But yet, I still sat in that hotel room and pondered what these girls would be like.
The women in my training class ended up being wonderful. Two of them I became fast friends with, and can see them in my life forever. They are beautiful, strong, wonderful, welcoming women. I have few girlfriends at 30, at least few girlfriends that live close to me, that I talk to every day. One of my closest friends and I, often discuss how we wish we could bring more into the circle. How nice it would be to have more girlfriends. But yet, we often also ask why it is so hard to make more?
I know I am not the only woman who sizes other women up as competition for an unnamed and non-existent prize. I would like to think that as soon as I actually meet the other female, as long as they are not rude to me, I am willing to let them in. I guess I don't understand when women stopped seeing each other as allies, and began first seeing them as competition. Maybe it was woman's lib that stopped that occurring? What? Am I a woman that is complaining about woman's lib? Yes. This is part 1....stay tuned.
I arrived at the hotel to find a welcome envelope waiting for me. In this envelope was a list of the other people who would be attending. All of these folks came from all around the country as well as one from Canada. As soon as I saw the list I started analyzing and calculating. I immediately calculated the female to male ratio. I looked at the names of the females and tried to assess their personalities. Who would be the prettiest? Who the smartest? Wait, I am lying to you...the questions were more of who will be prettier than me, smarter, etc. I started sizing up the competition before I even met them. As I write this I see the foolishness. I am asking myself the question that you are probably asking yourself, what was the competition? I cannot articulate the answer.
Woman tend to see each other as competition even when there is no prize. Where did we learn this? I was never in beauty pageants, I was never prom queen, etc. Yet my hackles get raised whenever I know there are going to be other unknown women involved in whatever I do. I value my girlfriends above much else. But yet, I still sat in that hotel room and pondered what these girls would be like.
The women in my training class ended up being wonderful. Two of them I became fast friends with, and can see them in my life forever. They are beautiful, strong, wonderful, welcoming women. I have few girlfriends at 30, at least few girlfriends that live close to me, that I talk to every day. One of my closest friends and I, often discuss how we wish we could bring more into the circle. How nice it would be to have more girlfriends. But yet, we often also ask why it is so hard to make more?
I know I am not the only woman who sizes other women up as competition for an unnamed and non-existent prize. I would like to think that as soon as I actually meet the other female, as long as they are not rude to me, I am willing to let them in. I guess I don't understand when women stopped seeing each other as allies, and began first seeing them as competition. Maybe it was woman's lib that stopped that occurring? What? Am I a woman that is complaining about woman's lib? Yes. This is part 1....stay tuned.
Friday, August 7, 2009
My Five
My boyfriend and I have an arrangement. We each have a list of five famous people that if we cheated on each other with, we would have an exemption of any type of infidelity consequences. This type of list was featured (and perhaps created) on an episode of Friends long ago. I know other couples also have this type of list. It is a fun, fanciful type of list. I typically do not believe in infidelity, but since the chances of every actually meeting anyone on either person's list, never mind going beyond a hand shake and a pic is pretty is close to 0%, this list is a lot more about fun than fact. Now anyone famous can be on this list, and it is not a fixed list. I change mine often. The only "rule" that I prescribe to is that you cannot add someone you just met. For example say Keifer Sutherland was not on my list because quite frankly I would not want to waste a spot on him since he just doesn't do it for me. But say, unbeknown to me, he is filming a movie in Cranston, RI (just go with me on this) and I happen to run into him at a local establishment and he invites me back to his trailer for some private time. I could not call up my boyfriend, add Keifer to the list and then spend some time with him. Against the rules.
I am flying to California on Sunday for a week, which is why the topic of this list is being raised. Typically my chance of meeting somebody famous that is on the list are probably one in a billion. Seeing that I am going to a place where many famous people live, I would say my chance will be more at a 1 in a few million. With this in mind I decided it was time to make a firm, "realistic" list before my plane takes off. I mean you never know....
So keeping in mind that I am trying to be "realistic" I decided that I needed to take off some usuals from the list. Tom Brady was the first. First of all, he is now married to Gisele. Mind you it is not the fact that he has a supermodel wife, it is just the fact that he has a wife. And second of all, the Patriots have started training so he would be a more realistic pick if I was staying on this coast. Also to come off is Brad Pitt. Now, Brad Pitt hasn't necessarily been a top choice since he left Jen for Angelina. I did not respect that decision at all, and if I only get 5, I would like to actually respect the person. Location is another issue with Mr. Pitt. He is usually jetting around the world trying to save people so who knows if he will even be in CA when I am.
Now there is one man who has always been on the list and will always be. I like to refer to him as my lifer. Now some women will completely understand this, while others with view it with despair. And against his better judgement he is recently married to someone other than me but I can't ever take him off the list. Wait for it...wait for it....Bruce Willis, ah, deep sigh. I think he is still one of the sexiest men alive. Still. You either get or you don't so I will leave it at that.
Now the next two on the list are recent additions. First is Jeffrey Dean Morgan, mind you I had to google him to find out his name, but he is still on the list. He played Denny on Grey's Anatomy, as well as William, the Irish singer in P.S. I love you. His grin drives me wild. Next new addition is Adam Samberg. He is so funny, and fairly cute and would be a lot of fun. Hell, if I am adding Adam, I may as well add JT. They could both be my mother lovers!!!
Now I would love to add Chuck from Gossip Girl because I heart Chuck, but not sure Ed Westwick would live up to his character's persona. I may very well be disappointed with that choice so I think choosing him may be a waste. My final choice is going to require some research and deep thought. And perhaps a last minute decision. Or since I love my boyfriend, it is time to shorten the list to only 4, and make him the 5th as a statement. Or not.
I am flying to California on Sunday for a week, which is why the topic of this list is being raised. Typically my chance of meeting somebody famous that is on the list are probably one in a billion. Seeing that I am going to a place where many famous people live, I would say my chance will be more at a 1 in a few million. With this in mind I decided it was time to make a firm, "realistic" list before my plane takes off. I mean you never know....
So keeping in mind that I am trying to be "realistic" I decided that I needed to take off some usuals from the list. Tom Brady was the first. First of all, he is now married to Gisele. Mind you it is not the fact that he has a supermodel wife, it is just the fact that he has a wife. And second of all, the Patriots have started training so he would be a more realistic pick if I was staying on this coast. Also to come off is Brad Pitt. Now, Brad Pitt hasn't necessarily been a top choice since he left Jen for Angelina. I did not respect that decision at all, and if I only get 5, I would like to actually respect the person. Location is another issue with Mr. Pitt. He is usually jetting around the world trying to save people so who knows if he will even be in CA when I am.
Now there is one man who has always been on the list and will always be. I like to refer to him as my lifer. Now some women will completely understand this, while others with view it with despair. And against his better judgement he is recently married to someone other than me but I can't ever take him off the list. Wait for it...wait for it....Bruce Willis, ah, deep sigh. I think he is still one of the sexiest men alive. Still. You either get or you don't so I will leave it at that.
Now the next two on the list are recent additions. First is Jeffrey Dean Morgan, mind you I had to google him to find out his name, but he is still on the list. He played Denny on Grey's Anatomy, as well as William, the Irish singer in P.S. I love you. His grin drives me wild. Next new addition is Adam Samberg. He is so funny, and fairly cute and would be a lot of fun. Hell, if I am adding Adam, I may as well add JT. They could both be my mother lovers!!!
Now I would love to add Chuck from Gossip Girl because I heart Chuck, but not sure Ed Westwick would live up to his character's persona. I may very well be disappointed with that choice so I think choosing him may be a waste. My final choice is going to require some research and deep thought. And perhaps a last minute decision. Or since I love my boyfriend, it is time to shorten the list to only 4, and make him the 5th as a statement. Or not.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Starting a blog
So I have decided to take the plunge, so welcome. I am, of course, a huge fan of Facebook. I joined about a year ago (give or take). I was introduced to it by some friends who were already addicts. I immediately balked, saying that I was too old for it. In my mind I was picturing a social network of teenagers, tweens, pre-teens and OF COURSE the predators that have become known to stalk these sites in order to find themselves some young thing that is going to invite them over some night when the folks are gone, think "To Catch A Predator". After my friends assuaged my suspicions, and assured me that this site (Facebook) was in fact "cool" and unlike MySpace, I decided to try out Facebook.
I must admit, I quickly became an addict and still am. I am still in awe of the information available on Facebook. I will admit that I use Facebook for three specific reasons 1.)reconnecting 2.)voyeurism 3.)NARCISSISM.
Ok, so the reconnecting is obvious. I grew up in a small town in the Berkshires, MA. I went to college in Providence, RI and never left. I rarely ever go back to my hometown. Thanks to FB, I have had in depth conversations with people that I figured I would never see again. I was very close with a girl in high school but we went our separate ways after graduation. I have had many facebook chats with her, that have allowed us to get know each other again. And it is one of the best feelings to be able to talk to someone that you knew when you were 13 and thought you had all the answers especially when you are 30 and realize that the answers are always changing. Another FB reconnection success was my college friend, Dawn. Dawn is an absolutely great person, but unfortunately I lost touch with her after college. What makes this even more unfortunate is that we both still live in RI. Well, we found each other on Facebook and because of that we were actually able to connect in person for dinner.
Voyeurism is a bit better than saying what FB really allows us to do. Spy, stalk, etc in a non-threatening way. I dated this guy in college. I had it for him really bad. In a lot of ways I consider him to be my first real love, but that is a story for another day. Guess who is on FB? Guess who married the girl that I was fighting(figuratively not literally ) for him? When he first came on Facebook, I was fascinated looking through his profile, checking out his videos, etc. And to be honest, this "window" into his life has actually helped me move beyond some feelings that might never have been resolved. I have spent hours looking through other people's pictures on FB. I have been able to see what they have been doing since I last saw them, be it years or days ago. Who got fat? Who got skinny? Who came out of the closet? Who has kids?
And lastly, but not least importantly, Narcissism. My friends and I have joked that Facebook should be called Narcissism Book. I'll be honest; I find myself to be an absolutely fascinating creature. I think my thoughts are eye-opening, I think I can be very funny at times, I have a lot to say. So Facebook is a great outlet for me to let hundreds of people to know what I think, what I am doing, how great I looked in that dress. Narcissism is the other side of the voyeurism coin. If people were not somewhat narcissistic themselves then I would have nothing to spy on on FB. If people did not find themselves at least slightly interesting, I would have no pics, videos, info to view - I'd be spending a lot more of my day playing Bejeweled Blitz or Farkle.
So what is the plunge that I alluded to in the beginning? Well, due to my narcissistic nature, I have decided that it is time for me to take it to a new arena; The Schlog. Welcome, Enjoy.
I must admit, I quickly became an addict and still am. I am still in awe of the information available on Facebook. I will admit that I use Facebook for three specific reasons 1.)reconnecting 2.)voyeurism 3.)NARCISSISM.
Ok, so the reconnecting is obvious. I grew up in a small town in the Berkshires, MA. I went to college in Providence, RI and never left. I rarely ever go back to my hometown. Thanks to FB, I have had in depth conversations with people that I figured I would never see again. I was very close with a girl in high school but we went our separate ways after graduation. I have had many facebook chats with her, that have allowed us to get know each other again. And it is one of the best feelings to be able to talk to someone that you knew when you were 13 and thought you had all the answers especially when you are 30 and realize that the answers are always changing. Another FB reconnection success was my college friend, Dawn. Dawn is an absolutely great person, but unfortunately I lost touch with her after college. What makes this even more unfortunate is that we both still live in RI. Well, we found each other on Facebook and because of that we were actually able to connect in person for dinner.
Voyeurism is a bit better than saying what FB really allows us to do. Spy, stalk, etc in a non-threatening way. I dated this guy in college. I had it for him really bad. In a lot of ways I consider him to be my first real love, but that is a story for another day. Guess who is on FB? Guess who married the girl that I was fighting(figuratively not literally ) for him? When he first came on Facebook, I was fascinated looking through his profile, checking out his videos, etc. And to be honest, this "window" into his life has actually helped me move beyond some feelings that might never have been resolved. I have spent hours looking through other people's pictures on FB. I have been able to see what they have been doing since I last saw them, be it years or days ago. Who got fat? Who got skinny? Who came out of the closet? Who has kids?
And lastly, but not least importantly, Narcissism. My friends and I have joked that Facebook should be called Narcissism Book. I'll be honest; I find myself to be an absolutely fascinating creature. I think my thoughts are eye-opening, I think I can be very funny at times, I have a lot to say. So Facebook is a great outlet for me to let hundreds of people to know what I think, what I am doing, how great I looked in that dress. Narcissism is the other side of the voyeurism coin. If people were not somewhat narcissistic themselves then I would have nothing to spy on on FB. If people did not find themselves at least slightly interesting, I would have no pics, videos, info to view - I'd be spending a lot more of my day playing Bejeweled Blitz or Farkle.
So what is the plunge that I alluded to in the beginning? Well, due to my narcissistic nature, I have decided that it is time for me to take it to a new arena; The Schlog. Welcome, Enjoy.
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